…What kind of pills? How many, and how were they ingested? How long ago was this? Because if this person died I’m sure you would have heard about it, for several reasons. And the fact you got scared and ran tells me you felt guilt over it which is a good thing. People do crazy things but sometimes that still doesn’t make someone into a wreck.

You got the idea from somewhere else, it didn’t come out of the blue into your own mind, which is also a good thing - It sounds to me like it was a lot of curiosity mixed with a lot of confusion. I think you’re confused about things. You need to find the willpower to get away from it all, and like I said, to get professional help. Of course you can still talk to me but… I’m probably not the best person to turn to.

Also what indicates you’re capable of being helped is the fact you’re worried about it right now and trying to talk about it. When you know you’re going completely downhill and doing nothing about it, to the point of not caring and not feeling guilt, and acting upon sudden compulsions that form entirely uninfluenced in your mind - That’s when you’re in deep, deep trouble.

I can understand and see why you did what you did. But I don’t believe you’re a bad, horrible person and I think you can be saved.